II: C.I.A. Training and the First Mission
I decided not to tell Desi about Hitler. I don’t like keeping secrets, but he hasn’t been programmed and likely doesn’t even know who Hitler is. It was good to be home with him while he told me about his day, including a mouse he almost caught. I sounded interested, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Hitler; my life was growing more complicated by the minute.
Today we received our C.I.A. jackets. Mine has “Lucy” on the right front and “C.I.A.” on the left. It is so kick-ass; I feel like my life has true meaning. While I am happy to be Tom’s cat and Desi’s wife, this just completes me. I have intense training coming up with the other C.I.A. cats, and I look forward to showing them what I’m made of.
The president of the C.I.A., a cat named Vicious, addressed us: “Hello cats! My name is Vicious. I am the first President of the C.I.A. and will be responsible for your training. But first, I will take attendance. Cutey?”.
“Here,” Cutey replied.
“Scatter? Shatter? Are you guys sisters?”.
“Yes,” they both answered.
“Lucy?”.
“Here,” I said.
“Oh yes, Lucy,” Vicious said, looking at a file. “It says here that you need to go to the office immediately after this class”.
Once in the office, Vicious said, “I see in your programming that you met with a man who calls himself Hitler”.
“How did you know? Who told you?” I asked, startled.
“No one had to tell us, Lucy,” Vicious explained. “As soon as you walked into this building, we already knew everything. We are able to replay your internal sensor at our convenience”.
“You mean I have no privacy?” I asked. “What about when Desi is licking my pussy?”.
“I don’t think we have any interest in that!” Vicious replied. “We are, however, interested in the man who calls himself Hitler—the one who went to the trouble of having plastic surgery to look and sound exactly like him. Your first mission as a C.I.A. agent will be to conduct a total investigation of this man. From our preliminary investigation, we have learned he has a cat named Whitey, who is a lesbian. Do you think you can do the job, Lucy?”.
“Well, uh,” I stammered. “You mean I have to be a lesbian?”.
“Yes, Lucy,” Vicious stated. “Do you have a problem with that? There are plenty of other girl-cat C.I.A. agents!”.
“Oh, no,” I said. “I am ready to complete this mission successfully”.
“Great,” Vicious said. “We have a few movies for you to watch at home tonight featuring lesbian girl cats having sex—and fighting a lot. Lesbian girl cats fight a lot!”.
Luckily, Desi was sleeping when I got home. For some reason, I was in a hurry to watch the movie. I had never even thought of lesbian sex before—hardly at all. I quickly got some of my favorite snacks and put the movie on. I couldn’t believe how sexy the star was. When the other cat started licking her, I couldn’t help but start rubbing myself.
Then, Desi walked in. “Lucy, do you know where Tom hid the cat snacks?”. I quickly turned off the TV before he could see what I was watching. That was a close call.
Later, I told Tom, “You know, the C.I.A. is planning on sending me on a mission”.
“Really, Lucy? I guess you have to keep it a secret?” Tom asked.
“Oh no, Tom,” I replied. “I can tell you everything since you’re my master. The C.I.A. wants me to spy on Hitler. They don’t believe he is real”.
“You mean they don’t believe in werewolves?” Tom asked.
“I don’t remember if we discussed werewolves,” I admitted.
“How long is the mission?” Tom asked.
“The mission doesn’t have an end point,” I said.
“Then I should come with you at first to provide cover,” Tom suggested. “When I leave, you can just get lost for a few hours. I’ll tell Hitler I have to go, and I’m sure he won’t mind you sticking around”.
I went to headquarters and watched videos of Whitey. She was so hot and had a big following on the new Cat Internet. Apparently, she sleeps around; I just hope she can’t tell I’ve never had lesbian sex.
“Desi? I’m going to tell you something,” I said to my husband.
“Tell me what, Lucy?” Desi asked.
“I’m going to tell you about my upcoming mission,” I explained. “I have to investigate Hitler because the C.I.A. doesn’t believe he is the real Adolf. I’m sure he is, but I have to prove it. And guess what, Desi? He is a werewolf. That is how he has lived so long. Do you even know who he is?”.
“Sorry, Lucy,” Desi replied. “Never heard of him”.